at the icecream parlour
by Mrs.Lautner.Wolf
Summary: Everybody is at the ice-cream parlour and fictional characters from Skulduggery, Twilight and Naruto. Oc as well. This is a crappy fic but even reviews cursing me to the firey pits of Hades are welcome!


**AN: Okay, it is way hard being a fanfic author. Way harder than I expected. I think my brain might burst. Chante has been nagging me for weeks to write another fanfiction, my mom wants me to dedicate one to her, Emily wants me to write something involving Sasuke bashing (not remembering that my first story was a Sasuke basher!) and I keep coming up short. Writer's block is a #$%&*! So I'm just going to make this up as I go along 'cause Chante will kill me if I go back to school tomorrow without having published **_**something**_**! I hope you guys enjoy it, even though I don't even know what IT is. I don't even have a name yet. Oh well, the show (or story) must go on.**

**I hope you're all happy now!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of whatever it is I'm writing this fanfic about. (It will probably end up a Naruto fic, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.)**

It was an extremely hot day and everyone who was anyone was at THE BIG-ASS ICE-CREAM PARLOR DOWN THE STREET (seriously, that's what it was called). They had every flavour of ice-cream you could think of (within reason, of course) hut the main reason everyone went there was because they had a mega big-ass air conditioner that could cool down the whole of Dubai.

"How is it possible for it to be so hot?" Mpho asked as she, Chante, Amin and Zuki walked into THE BIG-ASS ICE-CREAM PARLOR DOWN THE STREET. They sat down at a huge table with about ten other people sitting there. Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Sai, Temari, TenTen, Shikamaruu, Hinata, Ino and Neji all sat with an ice-cream or milkshake in front of the as they had their separate conversations.

"Hey, guys!" Naruto greeted with enthusiasm.

"Hi, Naruto!" they all said at once

Temari who, for once, was using her fan as a fan said, "Is it me or is the world about to combust into flames?"

"I think it's God's punishing us for beating Sasuke into a pulp that one time," Chante suggested Zuki nodding beside her.

Then Ino said, "Hey Sasuke, it's pretty hot in here why don't you take off your . . . whatever you're wearing."

"Yeah, Sasuke, we wouldn't you to have a heat stroke!" agreed Sakura.

"Sasuke, whatever you do, do not take your shirt off. I just had breakfast." Zuki says.

Mpho was suddenly in a state of day dreaming. "I wish Kakashi would take off his shirt . . ."

Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke all wrinkled their noses. "Ewwwwwwww! Kakashi?"

Then a muscular boy with golden skin and a blinding smile walked up to the table near Chante and Zuki. "Are you four ready to order?" Zuki, Chante and all the other girls at the table fell over from severe nose bleed. "Just give us a second." Chante mumbled. Slowly one by one the girls recovered except for Ino, who'd lost too much blood along with consciousness.

"Will she be okay?" asked the guy who only wore shorts and a half apron.

"She'll survive."

The boy stared at Ino's cold, pale and unconscious body for a second the shrugged. "My name is Jacob and I'll be your server today. What would you like to order?"

"Are you on the menu?" Chante jumped and shouted.

"Uhh, no," Jacob answered.

Zuki sulked and stuck out her bottom lip. "Well that sucks."

Jacob smiled. "Are you ready to order?"

"I'll have what you're having!" Zuki quickly said.

"Me too," said Chante.

Jacob scratched his head with his pen, which Chante and Zuki thought was cute, before pointing out that he was the waiter and that he wasn't having anything. Mpho and Amina have already ordered and are shaking their heads.

"Can you guys order already?" Amina says impatiently. So Zuki and Chante both order the day's special. Temari choked on her cherry on top when Jacob smiled and walked away. All the girls followed him with their eyes and as he went around the corner the fell off their chairs.

"Forget Sasuke! He! Is! HOT!" Temari stated.

Amina sighed. "He's not _that_ good looking."

All the boys, including Sasuke nodded their heads

"Come again?" Zuki stands up with red eyes and a fist ready.

"He's okay," added Mpho.

Chante glares at Mpho with killer intent. "What did you say?"

"You guys are pathetic." Amina announces.

"Oh look! It's Chris Brown!" Zuki points across the street.

Amina jumps. "Where?" She looks around and starts running.

Mpho starts laughing so hard her eyes water. "I can't believe she fell for that!"

"Oh look! Is that Bruno Mars by the bus stop?"

"Where?" Mpho was gone so fast that all the ninja were impressed with her speed.

Jacob was back with Zuki and Chante's two gargantuan ice-cream sundaes each in a tub. Zuki and Chante and the other girls were drooling when Mpho and Amina came back with Bruno Mars and Chris Brown. Mpho kicked Sasuke off his chair to make space for Bruno. The other girls were still drooling.

"I know. They look good, don't they?" Jacob put the sundaes in front of the drooling Zuki and Chante.

"Uh, they're not staring at the ice-cream, dude," Mpho pointed out.

"Jacob, why don't you hang out with us for a while?" Hinata suggested. Everybody looked at her with curious eyes. "What happened to your stutter?" asked Naruto.

"Jacob cured it."

All the boys' jaws dropped except Sai, who whispered in Naruto's ear, "I bet you a million bucks that his manhood is a thousand times bigger than yours."

Sasuke laughed.

"And yours," Sai added to Sasuke, who immediately stopped laughing.

"So how 'bout it, Jacob?"

Jacob smiled his super white and shiny smile and said, "Sure. I'd love to. Just give me a second to go get my shirt."

"NO!" all the girls shouted at once, except for Mpho who was making out with Bruno Mars and Amina who was sitting on Chris browns lap while he whispered something in her ear. Everyone decided not to ask what the whispers were about considering the disturbingly.

"You don't have to. It's way too hot for shirts and tops," Chante and Zuki took off theirs, the other girls following right behind them.

"Okay!" Jacob sat down on a chair right between Chante and Zuki, who put their arms around his shoulders.

"So, Jacob . . . tell us a little about yourself . . ."

After a one and a half long story about his life all the girls were crying (except for Amina who had just accepted a marriage proposal from Chris brown and Mpho who was planning her honey moon) and all the boys were shooting dagger glares at Jacob.

"So that chick Bella chose Edward over you?" Sakura asked, unbelieving. "Is she blind?" She waved her hands at Jacobs eight pack and abs.

Jacob nodded. "He doesn't even shave his chest hair. Or his arm pits . . ."

"Dude. She ran off a vampire?"

The crowd around Jacob had grown to almost half the ice-cream parlour listening to his story in tears.

Sniff, sniff. "That's what happened to me. My girlfriend went and kissed some freakish vampire dude behind my back"

"Your hair is freakish." Chanted pointed her finger at the way-too-greasy spikes that stuck out in every direction. "And distracting . . ."

Everyone was staring at Fletcher's hair.

"Can we concentrate on the fact that my girlfriend cheated on me with a dead guy?"

"Who told you about that?" Valkyrie asked as she walked up to Fletcher.

"Remnant Tanith."

"When did you speak to Remnant Tanith?"

Fletcher thought about it for a second. "Five minutes ago."

"What?"

Fletcher nodded. "She's over there making out with Billy-Ray." He pointed across the shop to where Tanith was on Billy-Ray's lap. Valkyrie had to swallow the vomit that was coming up her throat. "I think I'm gonna be sick!" she said running off to the bathroom.

"What's wrong with her?" Sakura asked

"I'm so sexy it makes her sick. I'm gorgeous, right? I can tell by the look in your eyes that right now you're thinking 'God, he's gorgeous!' don't you?"

"Not really."

There was the sound of a fork being tapped against a champagne glass. "Ahem! Attention everyone!" Amina stood on top of a table where everyone could see or hear her. "Chris brown and I are getting married and are going to have many beautiful children! You're all invited to m y wedding!" Everybody starts clapping.

"I'm marrying Jacob!" Zuki says.

"No, I am!"

"No, I am!"

"No I am!"

A mega cat fight breaks out. Jacob tries to sneak out but Zuki and Chante see him.

"Where do you think you're going?" the two friends begin to chase Jacob. "Wait! Jacob. We were meant to be together!"

Five weeks later*

News headlines: Bruno Mars and wife Mpho beat Brangelina as Hollywood's hottest celebrity couple.

Rihanna, eat your heart out. Christ brown has a new superhot girlfriend.

Body of sixteen year old Ino found. Cause of death: EXTREME NOSEBLEED.

Jacob Black Mysterious disappearance: last seen with two rabid fangirls. If seen, please report to nearest police station.

**Okay, well that really sucked. That sucked so bad I won't even mind flames. I'm asking for bad reviews! You see Chante! This is what you get when you rush a writer. I blame this bunch of rubbish on you, okay! This sucks rock that I might even shoot myself tonight. I've had four days of mid-term break and I'm going back to school tomorrow with this trash on my conscious. You might wonder why I'm so cranky but the red mini cooper came by this weekend even though it wasn't due another three weeks! It's like, great there goes my mid-term break! But whatever. Don't be surprised if I'm kicked off of for hideous writing! So see you guys later. Maybe!**


End file.
